


Hot Sauce Priorities

by Infidele



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Kissing, Lots of pranks, M/M, NCT Dream Ensemble-centric, Pranks and Practical Jokes, but not even really, donghyuck thinks he's funny, like a dab of angst?, this is just a bad joke with a mediocre punch line
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 06:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17554853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Infidele/pseuds/Infidele
Summary: “Okay, Hyuck you are banned to the kitchen now for being a sinner. Don’t come back until you’ve said your Hail Marys at least seven times.” Jaemin pushed him off of the beanbag, delivering Donghyuck his sentence.“You’re just mad that I have the balls to ask a man to be my Daddy and you don’t,” Donghyuck retorted.“Who says I haven’t?” Jaemin stood up from the couch, ready to fight. Jeno tugged him back down by the sleeve.





	Hot Sauce Priorities

Donghyuck leaned over and licked the unsuspecting skin of Mark’s elbow as he unknowingly took notes on a lecture that would be posted online in two hours time. Mark didn’t notice, still diligently taking notes, so Donghyuck threw a pencil at Jaemin sitting on Mark’s opposite side. It hit his forearm and the other boy’s head snapped to glare at Donghyuck.

 

“Lick Mark’s elbow,” Donghyuck mouthed at his friend, pointing towards the target of the operation. Jaemin shook his head no. He wasn’t very much about licking people, especially when Donghyuck was the one asking.

 

Donghyuck picked up another pencil and threw it at Jaemin, this time hitting the side of his head when he turned to dodge. Jaemin gave him a look, telling him to stop screwing around in class. Donghyuck picked up his pencil case, proudly showing off his arsenal of projectiles: “Lick. Mark’s. Elbow. Now.”

 

Jaemin, defeated in their silent war, scrunched his nose at Donghyuck. He dutifully leaned over and gave Mark’s elbow a quick lick anyways. The studious boy was none the wiser, turning a page in his notebook not knowing that his skin had been contaminated by his classmates’ saliva. Jaemin was busy wiping his tongue off on his sleeve, because in his little mind he thought that was more sanitary. Donghyuck might get him to drink hand sanitizer after class just to tease him for it.

 

Now that both of Mark’s elbows had been licked, it was time for Donghyuck to take his plan to the next level. 

 

The elbows were easy: they are less sensitive and you can’t really feel it if someone licks you there. So obviously the next step was to lick Mark’s cheek. 

 

Donghyuck had to make sure that it was at an opportune time. He could get kicked out of class very easily if the professor caught him or if Mark made too much of a fuss about it, which Donghyuck was counting on.

 

He slipped out of his seat to get into position. Crouched just out of Mark’s peripheral vision Donghyuck waited until the professor was facing their side of the class, ready to take student’s questions about the point he just covered. Mark, of course, raised his hand to ask one. As soon as the professor acknowledged him, Donghyuck sprung. 

 

He grabbed the sides of Mark’s head to keep him still and quickly smashed his tongue onto the springy skin of his cheek. Donghyuck stared the professor down as he dragged his tongue over Mark’s eye and forehead before releasing the squirming and protesting boy.

 

“W-what the fuck Donghyuck?” Mark sputtered. Donghyuck was engaged in an intense battle with the professor, determined not to blink first.

 

“I’m afraid I don’t know your name as you are not one of my students, but I would like for you to leave my classroom.”

 

“From today on I am going to be auditing this class,” Donghyuck announced. 

  
  
  
  


Donghyuck got banned from auditing courses at SMU for life. Since his third favorite pastime could now get him expelled he had to turn to his other favorites to keep himself entertained.

 

The second of which involved pulling off elaborate pranks on his friends, specifically Mark Lee.

 

He was hiding in a bush near the pathway to the library, waiting patiently for the prey to fall victim to his trap. Approximately twenty two minutes and thirty seven seconds after track practice is over the figures of Mark and Jeno come trotting down the path as they make their way to the library to study. 

 

Donghyuck looked to the bushes on the other side of the path where his partner in crime is waiting. He grinned and Renjun gave him a pained smile back. The Chinese boy might have been coerced into participating because Donghyuck had tea on him to spill for days. 

 

It wasn’t hard to get the smaller boy to talk since he was convinced that Donghyuck was regularly possessed by a ghost and the only way to make the spirit go away was by telling it all of his juiciest secrets. It had honestly started out as a prank on his roommate, but they were past the point of no return now. Donghyuck wouldn’t be surprised if he had accidentally summoned a spirit or something during one of his more pagan pranks. Renjun wasn’t afraid of many things, but spirits and Donghyuck both made his list.

 

As the two oblivious athletes approached Donghyuck counted down with his fingers. When they reached zero the two boys jumped out of the bushes and started blasting Mark and Jeno with streams of lemon juice from their cheap super-soakers. 

 

“W-what? Donghyuck! Is this fucking lemonade? Donghyuck! Renjun!” Mark yelled as Donghyuck aimed at his face and hair. The boys definitely showered after practice and they would need another to get all of the citrus juice off of their clothes and hair.

 

“Renjun, what the hell?” Jeno was a little smarter than Mark, holding up his backpack to let it take to brute of the onslaught as he chased after Renjun. Mark would never risk his precious school work and books getting water damage.

 

“What’s with the sour face?” Donghyuck taunted. Mark lunged at him and Donghyuck turned on his heel to sprint away. High on the adrenaline and one too many Redbulls, he thought he might actually manage to get away when he dashed onto the last field separating him from his dorm. He looked back, feeling confident, only to see Mark right on his tail.

 

The trackstar jumped, tackling Donghyuck onto the grass. He landed hard on the supersoaker, breath knocked out of him but still a shit-eating smirk on his face.

 

“You are so dead Lee Donghyuck.”

 

Donghyuck laughed as Mark flipped him over, prying the gun from his hands to spray the remaining lemon juice all over Donghyuck. Mark laughed too, listening to Donghyuck’s light-hearted protests and watching him try to wriggle out from under him.

 

Donghyuck’s heart was racing from all of the different chemicals in him bloodstream, Mark still pinning him down and the sting of lemon in his eyes. He was panting from running so hard, the exhaustion from it finally catching up to him.

 

“You’re a fucking idiot. I just showered too. Fuck,” Mark breathed heavily, almost as winded as Donghyuck. He pushed a sticky wet clump of hair out of his eyes and Donghyuck’s eyes shimmered with devilish light.

 

“My dorm is right here, we can shower together.” He added an over exaggerated wink and some eyebrow wiggling to top it off.

 

Mark wrapped his hands around Donghyuck’s neck, feigning choking him before standing up and offering his hand to Donghyuck. “You’re ridiculous.”

 

He took Mark’s hand with a smile. “That’s why you love me.”

 

Mark scoffed. “I’m going back to my dorm now that you have ruined my studying plans.”

 

“I’ll bring you some food in like an hour if you let me in. Invite Jeno too so I can pretend to apologize.”

 

“Don’t poison it and that’s a plan.”

 

“Oh, that’s a great idea.”

 

“Donghyuck,” Mark threatened. The boy in question laughed, picking up the empty supersoaker. It was a valuable purchase from Walmart for many of Donghyuck’s pranks.

 

“Don’t worry, I won’t poison anything tonight. I’ll do it when you least expect to keep you guessing,” he teased.

 

“Ugh. See you later, demon.” Mark turns to go and find the backpack he discarded to chase down Donghyuck. 

 

“Bye, angel.” Mark flips him an unholy sign, very unlike the good Christian boy he is and Donghyuck can’t help but smile wider. 

 

He was totally going to put laxatives in their food tonight.

  
  
  
  


There was only one thing more fun than auditing classes to troll professors and pranking his friends until they were literally about to kill him. Even though he had only ever done it once, Donghyuck knew for sure that it was the only thing on his list of fun activities to do when bored that could never be beat.

 

Tonight he was going to prove it.

 

It was movie night at Jeno and Mark’s dorm and the entire dream team had showed up in full force. Jeno and Jisung were competing to see who could eat the most popcorn and Chenle was stealing popcorn from Jeno’s bowl to sabotage Jisung. Donghyuck raised him well. 

 

Donghyuck was sitting next to Mark and Renjun on a beanbag that was definitely too small for the three of them but none of them wanted to relinquish the best seating for watching  _ Spiderman: Homecoming  _ to either of the others. Jaemin was sprawled across the floor, bundled up in three blankets while munching on a bowl of m&m’s he refused to share with anybody else. 

 

Donghyuck had been tied down and forced to promise that he wouldn’t pull any pranks on them during movie nights after the one time he brought a movie that switched to a bad porno half-way through. That didn’t always stop him, but after a while the tradition of having a chill night with his friends became more fun than any reaction he could get from them during. Most of the time they didn’t remember the entire movie, either because it put them to sleep or because they started talking and teasing each other until the TV was forgotten.

 

About halfway through the movie Mark and Renjun collectively voted to kick Donghyuck off of the island. Literally. He had to go crawl over to Jaemin and cry to be let into his blanket burrito, Jaemin’s fingers stroking his hair mindlessly as they turned their attention back to the screen.

 

Donghyuck related to Peter. He was also a superhero whose latent potential was being repressed by his extremely rich kinda-dad. His friends had no idea that he actually went out and saved the world everyday just for fun. Except movie nights. Movie nights were reserved on his calander about six months in advance.

 

It wasn’t another fifteen minutes before chaos broke out. Jeno finished his popcorn first and Jisung dumped the rest of his onto Chenle, accusing him of conspiring with the enemy. Renjun had to defend him so he started (as far as Donghyuck could tell) cursing out the younger boy in Chinese. Jaemin started to egg Renjun on as Jeno tried to calm him down, so Mark also got up from the beanbag to intervene.

 

Of course, this left the prime real estate open for Donghyuck to take. He threw himself onto the empty beanbag, starfishing to take up as much of the space as possible. Chenle pushed Jisung off of the couch and the all out brawl began. Donghyuck watched bemused on his throne of beans in a bag.

 

He got dragged into the mess when Renjun realized that Donghyuck had reclaimed the holy land, jumping onto Donghyuck and trying to push him off. It was easy to fight off the smaller boy, especially when Donghyuck started twitching and pretending like he was possessed. Afraid, Renjun retreated back to the couch that was now under the authority of Jeno and Jaemin who welcomed him with open arms. Jisung and Chenle were sent to the kitchen to make more popcorn and to reflect on their actions. Donghyuck doubted that there would be any edible popcorn made by the two fools, but it was Mark and Jeno’s problem if the dorm burned down.

 

Mark was harder to keep off of the beanbag than Renjun since he was bigger and could just sit on Donghyuck until he suffocated. Not keen on dying, Donghyuck let him squeeze onto the beanbag next to him under the condition that they could also cuddle. Mark didn’t get a say in the matter since it was more comfortable like that anyways.

 

The commotion made them miss twenty minutes of the movie and apparently some key plot development happened because now Donghyuck was completely lost.

 

“Hey, Mark,” he whispered. The older boy glanced over at him. “You should go as Iron Man for Halloween this year.”

 

Mark’s nose did the little scrunch thing where he didn’t know exactly where Donghyuck was taking this and he knew that he wouldn’t like it but still wanted to know what he was going to say. “Why?”

 

“Shut up Mark Lee I’m trying to watch the movie,” Renjun declared. He gave the beanbag a quick kick too. He was just jealous that he wasn’t on the beanbag anymore. What a sore loser.

 

“Why should I go as Iron Man?” Mark whispered into Donghyuck’s ear this time. His breath tickled the little hairs on his neck.

 

“Because I’m going to go as Spiderman and that way I can call you Daddy.” Mark’s eyes went wide, definitely not anything he had expected.

 

“Okay, Hyuck you are banned to the kitchen now for being a sinner. Don’t come back until you’ve said your Hail Marys at least seven times.” Jaemin pushed him off of the beanbag, delivering Donghyuck his sentence.

 

“You’re just mad that I have the balls to ask a man to be my Daddy and you don’t,” Donghyuck retorted.

 

“Who says I haven’t?” Jaemin stood up from the couch, ready to fight. Jeno tugged him back down by the sleeve.

 

“Someone needs to go check on Chenle and Jisung anyways. Comeon Hyuck, let’s go pray that my stove isn’t completely ruined.” Mark got up and ushered Donghyuck towards the kitchen.

 

Renjun scoffed. “Mark already ruined the stove. There is no way those kids could’ve made it worse than it already is.”

 

“You act like you’re that much better but I’ve tasted your cooking,” Jaemin teased. Renjun got in one punch to the gut before Jeno separated them.

 

In the kitchen the youngest boys were mixing a bowl of mystery liquids while the pot of popcorn overflowed on the stove behind them. It wasn’t on, thankfully, but the popcorn was all blackened and burnt.

 

“What are you two doing?” Mark asked. 

 

“We couldn’t make popcorn so now we are making cheesecake.” Whatever was in their bowl did not look like anything Donghyuck had ever associated with cheesecake.

 

“Canada and I will take over from here. I don’t trust you two in the kitchen.”

 

“I don’t trust you two either. What are you gonna do? Make out or something?” Chenle sassed. Donghyuck might have raised him  _ too _ well.

 

“Yeah, so unless you wanna watch, I suggest you fucking leave.” Jisung’s jaw nearly fell to the floor but Chenle grew an evil grin.

 

“Well then who’s gonna make the cheesecake?”

 

“No cheescake. No making out. You two out of the kitchen, Hyuck and I are on cleanup duty,” Mark says. Donghyuck can feel his friend’s blood pressure rising. The younger boys saunter back to the other room leaving Mark and Donghyuck alone with the disaster in the kitchen.

 

“What even is this?” Donghyuck tests the mixture of fluids in the bowl by attempting to whisk it once. It is viscous, chunky, and green, perfect for a prank but suspiciously inedible. He dumps it into the trash can, heavy globs pulling the bag down.

 

“Hyuck, can we talk?”

 

Donghyuck throws the empty bowl into the sink, running it under the water to get off the remnants that cling to the metal.

 

“We already are.”

 

Mark takes to dumping the pieces of charcoal Chenle and Jisung alchemized from popcorn into the trash. “Like a serious talk, though.”

 

Donghyuck grabs the scour to attack the little pieces that refused to come off under the flow of water. What did those boys put in their cheesecake? This was beyond even the level of disgusting Mark created that one time he tried to make mac and cheese.

 

“Sure. I can be serious.” Mark sighs. Donghyuck knows that Mark doesn’t believe him but he will still try to have the conversation anyways.

 

“I love you Hyuck, I really do, but sometimes you are so hard to deal with. All of the jokes about us kissing or whatever need to stop. We are friends and bros and this just, doesn’t feel right you know?”

 

Donghyuck stopped scrubbing the bowl to turn and face Mark. “What if it’s not a joke? Does that make you more uncomfortable?” His heart was beating pretty fast. Faster than an EDM song in a club right before the bass drop. He was pretty sure that his confidence was more of a reflex than actual bravery at this point.

 

“I don’t know Hyuck. I-”

 

“Was kissing me really that bad?”

 

Mark stops. 

 

It was something that happened not even a month ago, hanging around their older friends. A lot of teasing and a touch of alcohol was all it took for Mark to kiss him in the hallway on their way back to Donghyuck’s room. Mark had run away almost immediately afterwards, leaving Donghyuck to enter his dorm room confused but also grinning from ear to ear. The next day, Mark ignored Donghyuck completely and when he tried to make a joke about it, Mark denied that anything had ever happened. They hadn’t talked about it since.

 

Donghyuck knows that he hit the right nerve because Mark couldn’t find the words to speak, standing silently at the stove for almost an eternal minute.

 

The silence got to Donghyuck too, eating away at his mind, heart racing like it was in the Grand Prix. Did Mark really not have an answer? Was it really that hard to say that he did or didn’t like it? Was he trying to save Donghyuck the pain of rejection?

 

In classical Donghyuck fashion, the one time he could really use a good joke to ease the tension, none came to mind. 

 

Unable to withstand the silence, words started flowing from his mouth in a stream of thought. “I like you Mark. And not just as friends. I still like you as a friend, but like, I also want to kiss you and cuddle with you and hold your hand and maybe even superglue our hands together just because I can. But I still wanna be bros and pull pranks on you and school your ass in Fifa, just all the other things too. I get it if you don’t want that or if you just want to be friends or if you don’t even want to be friends anymore-”

 

“God, Hyuck you’re so fucking stupid,” Mark interrupted. He had a dumb look on his bitchass face, saying the most banal sentence Donghyuck had ever heard in his life.

 

It made Donghyuck livid. 

 

“Just because you have a stick up your ass doesn’t mean I do.” He shoved the bowl into the sink, nearly twisting off the knob as he cut the water. “I like you a lot Mark Lee, but sometimes I really fucking hate you.”

 

Mark grabbed his arm as he tried to leave the kitchen, roughly twisting Donghyuck around to face him. Donghyuck despised that the only thoughts running through his mind were  _ Why does he have to be so fucking cute _ and  _ I should’ve dumped Chenle’s cheesecake concoction on his head _ . He needed to get a better filter for his thoughts.

 

“What, am I being too serious for you now?” Donghyuck spat.

 

There was a brief moment where Donghyuck thought Mark was going to kiss him. Where he looked at Donghyuck’s lips for a second too long, letting gravity pull them ever so slightly closer. But he didn’t. Donghyuck was trying his best to spit out the most bullshit he could to get Mark to kiss him quiet too, but the lion was also a coward.

 

“Donghyuck, I don’t-no I can’t-” Mark fumbled, unable to form a coherent sentence. 

 

“You can’t what Mark? Give me a proper answer? Because if that’s the case I’m going back to watch the movie.”

 

Mark doesn’t let go of his arm, holding on tightly to prevent Donghyuck from leaving. He could probably pull away if he really tried, but Donghyuck wanted an answer. He didn’t want to keep pretending like it didn’t bother him.

 

“I can never tell if you are joking or not Hyuck. Did you mean it?” he asked, voice barely more than a whisper.

 

“It’s movie night, Mark. I’m banned from playing pranks.” 

 

Mark almost laughs at that.

 

“I, uh--gosh this is embarrassing--I like you too, Hyuck.” The tips of his ears were burning a bright red and a light pink dusted his cheeks. Donghyuck raised an eyebrow. “As more than a friend.”

 

Donghyuck shrugs: “You have good taste.” He can’t keep the smile from spreading across his face.

 

Mark is awkward and clumsy so Donghyuck takes matters into his own hands, pulling the older boy closer, hands cupping his cheeks. It was cute, how Mark’s eyes flitted nervously, not sure where to look. He closed them tightly when their noses were almost touching. He was holding his breath, as if this was the first time he had ever kissed someone.

 

“Did you think I was going to kiss you?” Donghyuck says, letting his hands fall from Mark’s cheeks and booping his nose softly.

 

Mark’s eyes fluttered open, confusion written all over his face. It wasn’t Donghyuck’s fault that he was nervous too. Having Mark like this in the palm of his hand was too much responsibility. Donghyuck couldn’t manage his own laundry, how was he supposed to take charge of a relationship? 

 

Fuck it. Laundry couldn't be that difficult right?

 

Donghyuck leaned in and pressed his lips against Mark’s. He pulled away just as quickly, heat rising to his cheeks and stomach churning. He did that? He really just did that? Mark’s flustered face served as confirmation enough. 

 

Oh god he just kissed Mark. Last time he wasn’t completely sober so he didn’t notice the way Mark’s lips parted slightly to finally breathe again, how his whole body felt like a fever had come over him, the faint taste of chapstick that transferred to his own lips. It was like waking up thinking there was nothing to eat in the fridge but finding a box of leftovers that tasted even better than they did fresh. 

 

And it didn’t end there. Where Donghyuck grew more self-conscious and sensitive, Mark grew more confident and capable of pulling them back together to kiss properly.

 

If Donghyuck kissing Mark was liking finding leftovers, Mark kissing Donghyuck was like Gordon Ramsey bursting through the door with a three course meal of his favorite foods. A very scary taste of his own personal heaven.

 

How could he have forgotten the way their lips slotted perfectly together? The bounce of Mark’s bottom lip when Donghyuck tugged at it with his teeth? The way Mark’s tongue tickled his incisors right before they crashed against each other in their haste? How Mark’s fingernails, that were just a bit too long, dug into his hips?

 

Donghyuck wanted to add every detail to his archive of things he knew about Mark. It was already an extensive library, but Donghyuck had no limits when it came to the older boy. They were barely more than teenagers, yet Donghyuck decided that he didn’t dislike the idea of eternity with Mark Lee. 

 

If someone like Ten, or maybe Yuta, had been judging Mark’s kissing skills they probably would’ve rated him pretty poorly. But then again, they had already deemed Donghyuck a lost cause when it came to technique, so it wasn’t like he was complaining. 

 

It was just the right bit of awkward and intense that fit them. Mark couldn’t keep his tongue to himself and Donghyuck didn’t know how to not use his teeth but neither wanted the moment to end. There were a thousand new ways to tease Mark that now came to mind, and it made Donghyuck giddy imagining his reactions. If he wasn’t so absorbed in kissing Mark he would’ve definitely made a joke about him learning to kiss from his dog.

 

“I kinda really like you, Mark Lee,” Donghyuck told him when Mark decided that his jaw and neck deserved some saliva as well. Mark hums into the base of his neck. “However, I think we should probably go back and join our friends.” Maybe get Donghyuck a washcloth to wipe of his face too.

 

That seems to snap Mark out of a trance, stepping away from Donghyuk and finally eyeing his work. Donghyuck must’ve looked like a million bucks the way Mark’s eyes boggled out of his head.

 

“Oh.”

 

Donghyuck ran a hand through his hair to tousle it up a bit more. He wanted to make sure his friends knew without question what had just happened. Mark straightened his shirt and rubbed at his mouth as if Donghyuck had left lipstick stains all around it. Which he planned to in the future.

 

Donghyuck slipped past Mark, making sure to land a sharp kiss on his cheek. “Finish up cleaning up the popcorn mess first though.” He waltzed out of the kitchen, leaving a very flustered Mark alone with the charcoal. 

 

His confident gay ego had taken a slight hit, but Donghyuck wasn’t one to dwell in the past. Overall it was his victory tonight. He confessed to the love of his life, embarrassed him to near break down when Mark finally rejoined them for the last five minutes of the movie, and got to partake in his all time favorite activity. Twice.

 

Kissing Mark was the best thing in the world, but when it came to his list of fun activities to do when bored, Donghyuck could confirm that nothing would ever top licking the side of Mark’s face and hearing the boy scream. 

 

Maybe it was because it reminded him of the way Mark kissed him: saucy, but the hot kind.

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hiya. Hopefully this wasn't too messy. Let me know what you think!! Comment, or talk to me on [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/_infidele_) & [ cc ](https://curiouscat.me/_infidele_) :) 
> 
> Funny story, when I was in middle school I went to this girl's birthday party and I sat in her hot tub holding my knees close to my chest and singing some made up song about a sparrow and I convinced everyone there that I was possessed. The girl feared me afterwards and would scream at me every time I spoke to her because she thought I had a demon in me (I played it up a little too of course because it was funny) but that's what inspired me with Hyuck and Renjun. I just needed to give Hyuck that kind of power in this story.


End file.
